News flash: no one likes getting older.
Our metabolism slows, our relationship to gravity changes, we begin to look tired whether we are or not, and even the cat has begun to notice that uuunnnnhh sound we make as we straighten after feeding her and freshening her water, and it actually seems to annoy her. (Like she's getting any younger.)
Once, on a southbound bus, I saw a poster of people's faces with their ages printed under each. It was just a quick connecting ride so I didn't have time to study the poster carefully enough to figure out what the point was--probably just another Dove advertisement--but I was struck by how remarkably youthful some people remained even into middle age, assuming the given information wasn't a put-on. How lucky is that, I thought as I disembarked. And how freakin' unfair.
This morning as I was slathering on moisturizer and applying foundation, eyebrow pencil and eyeliner with my customary artful care (necessitating two and a half do-overs), I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and saw something completely unexpected.
My grandmother's face.
Not her Gramma face, you understand, not the twinkly, wrinkled, slightly saggy visage I remember from my teenage and twentysomething years. The face staring at me in the mirror was a younger version of my grandmother to be sure, but unmistakably her. (There was maybe a little of my mother in there, and my aunt Max, around the edges.)
I have no idea what else to say about this, people. I'm still absorbing it-- you can understand.
More on this later. If I'm not too freaked out.
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2 comments:
a few yrs ago i was in my nyc bathroom mirror relunctantly (i don't like to shave, that's my story and i'm sticking to it ok?) shaving the scattered hairs that crop up from time to time on my face and under my neck when i noticed my older brotha michael staring back at me. my first thought? how, no, when did you get here? it was an odd occurrence, one i wanted to quickly dismiss. yet, to my delight and surprise i felt comforted by his quiet presence. days would go by and i'd begin to see my older sistah carol, my older brotha larry, my older sistah marla, my youngest brotha james, my youngest sistah tracy, both my parents, as well as some of my nieces and nephews: they were all waiting for me in my bathroom mirror. we were having a family reunion. and, of course, i was the last to show up bcuz when it comes to reunions with my family i pride myself on being fashionably late - as leos are known to be. i've also seen grandma jefferson, grandma wimberly & mama suzette in my mirror. why? they just wanted to make sure everything was alright. like caring elders are supposed to do. for me, its not a sign of getting old, rather, its a sign of waking up. when you wake up, your isolated, marginalized, self-absorbed existence becomes incredibly small-er. you realize the world does not revolve around you. in fact, it never did. and, you humbly thank god the world doesn't revolve around you because if it did, the world would be more phucked up than it already is.
omg. what a relief!
Oh yeah? (That's all I got.) ;-)
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