That Father

This is crazy-making.

Okay, look--I liked this show a lot in its original run when I was a grammar-schooler, and I continued to like it in reruns during my growing up years, and here, deep in Middle-Age Land, as I watch a Season One DVD on my desktop, I find I still like it. A lot. That Girl (both the Girl and the show) still has real appeal. I still love the popping, vibrant colors, Ann Marie’s kicky sixties wardrobe (Oh, God, I wanted that girl’s closet!), the truly wonderful exterior shots of a vanished New York, Harry Geller’s (or was it Dominic Frontiere’s?) spritely-sweet and evocative incidental music—especially Earle Hagen’s now iconic opening theme and its seasonal variations--and even the charming innocence of Ann and her boyfriend Don’s improbably chaste romance.

But her dad. Lew. Lew Marie. Criminey, what an obnoxious ass!

On the commentary track for “What Are Your Intentions?”—along with the crisp, beautiful audio and video transfer, the great pleasure of classic movies and television series in DVD format are the bonus features, especially the cast and crew commentaries—Marlo Thomas and series co-creator Bill Persky discuss with great amusement their memories of the making of the show and the episode’s storyline about overprotective fathers. The two laugh heartily at Lew Marie’s sarcastic distrust and endless jibes at Donald, comparing aspects of Lew's behavior to Thomas’s real-life dad, Danny Thomas (Make Room For Daddy) and Persky himself with his own young daughters. This was how dads were, they recalled fondly, back in the era when dads were really involved in their kids’ lives.

Um, okay.

As I consider it, Lew Marie’s ferocious desire to guard his only daughter’s health and well-being, by which of course I mean her virginity, is understandable given she’d insisted on leaving home to make her own way in the world at a time when daughters generally didn’t do such things, and he and the Mrs. didn’t know this Don Hollinger guy very well.

What isn’t so understandable to me is Mr. Marie’s continuing abrasiveness toward Donald as time (and the series) went on. After all, this was the man his daughter loved and would eventually marry (in the series finale). Couldn’t he have given his daughter’s judgment the benefit of the doubt? Couldn’t he have respected her feelings enough to reign in his worries and stifle his impulse to pick apart Donald? What was that about, anyway? First Mr. Marie is upset at the prospect of his lovely and naive young daughter leaving home to move to the big bad city and live and work in it alone; then he’s pissed off because she’s found herself a handsome, successful, good-hearted guy who’s every bit as loving and protective of her as he is. I mean, what is that?

And what’s up with Ann allowing her father to be so disrespectful and so relentlessly, well, mean, to her man? Sure, she’s young and her dad’s authority still has some sway, but as she would (gently, pleadingly, and more than once) point out to him, she’s not a child anymore and it’s really not okay for him to treat her like one. So why did she so often let him? Why didn’t concern for Donald’s feelings compel Ann to object more forcefully to Lew’s insensitivity? ("Oh, Daddy...") Did Marlo let Danny get away with that shit?

I meant everything I just said. I’ve always thought Lew Marie (played with pugnacious gusto by character actor Lew Parker) was an abrasive jerk to every male above the age of 12 who ever smiled at his daughter, most particularly the man she adored, and it really bugged me.

But can I tell you something else? Right alongside my annoyance I’ve always felt a twinge of jealousy of Ann Marie; more than a twinge, as finally I became Ann’s age and was faced with navigating a world of make-believe and machismo. I mean, just imagine. Imagine having a father for whom you are the center of the universe, who loves and fears for you so much that he’s willing, with no apologies and above your objections, to step over the line time and time again to safeguard your health and well-being.

And, okay, your virginity.